Jeremiah 33:3
New International Version (NIV)
3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’
Thursday, August 4, 2011
words of wisdom
We live in a crazy world, and the way things are going.. it seems that everyday gets even more intense. The economy, the enviroment.. it's a changing, and not always for the better. With everything that's gone on lately, I am always brought back to one particular verse:
Fashion Forward
It's a long slow day so far here in housewife land. With the laundry & dishes DONE, and floors even mopped, and dinner not for a few hours I figured I'd actually take the time to look around online at stuff and start thinking of my Fall/Winter wardrobe. The heat index at the moment is 104, so I'm not going outside anytime soon.
My Summer 2011 wardrobe has been skirts, tanks and dresses.Many of these skirts will transition easily to Fall with the addition of tights and a long sleeve lightweight t-neck.
I have a very classic style aka, boring to some. I have my staples and LOVE them. The typical cool weather outfit for me is, Danskos, jeans and a turtleneck. No fear, my beloved Jack's are brought out anytime I can. I also have a lovely collection of my favorite and signature Ralph Lauren Oxford shirts, seriously probably have 30 that make their rounds this time of year.
For now, let's take a look in my closet to see what will be pulled out come the Fall.
I've missed them soo much this Summer. I love the fact that they are black and brown, so double duty. I will probably try to get some solid black/brown ones this Fall, just cause, but I am so excited to wear them again.
and these,
SKINNY JEANS!! I finally gave in and got some last year and have never looked back. I know I've made it big, when I had a 16 year old tell me I looked cute. They are soo much easier with boots and I even went out on a limb and began to wear them with flats. In fact it's safe to say I miss my jeans in general and am pretty excited about getting a new pair soon.
I actually picked up a pair of leggings last Winter and can't find them. Don't you hate that?! I am hoping I can either find them or score another pair soon. My seestor has a super cute dress from France that she got from H&M and I am dying to wear it. The only issue is, I have about 6inches on sees, and legs for miles therefore making this dress a tunic.
and these...
I've got a huge collection of scarves, and I'm sure this will grow this Fall/Winter. I've missed wearing them, they are so fun and an easy way to dress up anything. Not to mention keep ya warm!! I have dared to wear the "Summer" scarf a few times with tank tops or strapless dresses, but ultimately gave up on this trend because it was just one more thing to keep up with. I also don't get out enough to be trendy.
Now the big mystery remains as if it will snow this year.. Oh we dream. In the event it does I'm hoping to get my hands, or shall I say "feet" on a pair of these by Sperry.
Weather resistant, some traction and will keep my feet warm and dry. I would love a pair of these for the rain too.
I also really love a good peacoat. Cute and classy!! This year I'm hoping to grab a navy blue one, or a camel colored one.
So while I am dreading the drop in temperatures, it will be nice to have a change of pace with the wardrobe. I also seem to have a bit more of a social life during cooler weather and this year I am committed to putting 110% into my look. I've been far too slack.
the loo
Well Brittany, I was just reading you lovely update about the bathroom and saw where you sent your readers over here. So just so they have something to look at about bathrooms, here's a post from me..
We have currently 2 and 1/2 small bathrooms in this house. The thing I hate, the master bath. I don't event think a Smart car would fit in there! Anyways, it's small. It consists of the basics and that's it. As we move through our house and begin to get things as we like them I'm sure we'll reach the bathroom at some point. The one downstairs need some work badly, and Nate currently occupies the 2nd one up here, and well.. our guests generally don't go in ours. They have been put off on the back burner for now.
So while I'd love to do a post about my dream bathroom, here's one on making the most of your small space in this ever so important area.
1.) a good coat of paint, This will go a long way in any bathroom. It's your base for what ever direction you want to head for. Too many times we've all seen a small bathroom that's been neglected because it's small. Start things off right in your bathroom redo and get a clean coat of paint on the walls and trim. It goes a long way.
2.) get creative, Use decorative towels, fixtures and lighting to spruce up things. I am all about coordination, so why not get some vinyl decals and put them on basic soap dishes, and toothbrush holders, then carry that onto some embroidered hand towels. I got some super cute soap as a wedding gift with my new initials on them and am just dying to get them out on display. If you have room for a small lamp or a candle, I think those both add a great little touch. If you have a window, put up a curtain or even hang some photos on the walls.
3.) but not too pretty, which brings me to my first rant of this post. The too pretty to touch items. Ie, towels, soap, hmmm what else.. I think you get the point. My grandmother used to have this soap carved like little rosettes, and towels with birds on them. The issue was, we couldn't touch them!! So right next to it was a grimey soap pump and torn up towel. What's the point of having them if you can't use them, not to mention it's tacky when guests arrive. I am totally for saving the good stuff for company, but don't make it so they won't even wanna touch it!
4) stock, KEEP YOUR BATHROOM STOCKED!! This is ever important for guests as well. Make sure you've got toilet paper, soap, hand towels, and what not with room to spare. Ladies, if you've got female company you may also wish to put essentials in a non-conspicuous tin or cabinet if needed. In this same respect, keep a handy can of eau de parfume handy too. You can get some great room fragrance at Bath and Body works. This way your bathroom will stay clean, and so will your visitors!
5.) don't leave your crap out, Self explanatory for anyone saving space. At my parents, we had space and more, so make up, brushes, curlers, were all out constantly. Now that I'm here with Mr. P I don't have that space. So I generally keep all that in a bucket in my closet so I pull it out only when I need it. It also helps keep some order in there for company.
6) and don't forget the trash, I think in most bathrooms the trash can is probably the last item anyone thinks about. It's small and usually tucked behind the toilet. Don't forget about this. If you're trying to maximize your small area most bathroom decor usually has a coordinating trash can. Splurge and get it. You'll be so proud of yourself. Make sure you're emptying it as needed, and not letting anything get stuck to it. We don't want a gross trash can. You can get small can liners at the store which make this process even easier.
Ok this post is getting wayy long, but one more area to talk about in the bathroom and we're done.
7.) the actual bath part of the room, Make sure you're toilet, sink, shower and tub work and are clean. A lot of times just by cleaning up around the house and our bathrooms I feel like they are much nicer and easier to look at. In our shower we've got some shelving to make it a little less cluttered and have tried to condense bottles where we could. I inspect the shower curtain daily for rips or mildew and change it as needed.
I wish I had a better bathroom so I could take these photos for you and show you something cute, but one day!!
We have currently 2 and 1/2 small bathrooms in this house. The thing I hate, the master bath. I don't event think a Smart car would fit in there! Anyways, it's small. It consists of the basics and that's it. As we move through our house and begin to get things as we like them I'm sure we'll reach the bathroom at some point. The one downstairs need some work badly, and Nate currently occupies the 2nd one up here, and well.. our guests generally don't go in ours. They have been put off on the back burner for now.
So while I'd love to do a post about my dream bathroom, here's one on making the most of your small space in this ever so important area.
1.) a good coat of paint, This will go a long way in any bathroom. It's your base for what ever direction you want to head for. Too many times we've all seen a small bathroom that's been neglected because it's small. Start things off right in your bathroom redo and get a clean coat of paint on the walls and trim. It goes a long way.
2.) get creative, Use decorative towels, fixtures and lighting to spruce up things. I am all about coordination, so why not get some vinyl decals and put them on basic soap dishes, and toothbrush holders, then carry that onto some embroidered hand towels. I got some super cute soap as a wedding gift with my new initials on them and am just dying to get them out on display. If you have room for a small lamp or a candle, I think those both add a great little touch. If you have a window, put up a curtain or even hang some photos on the walls.
3.) but not too pretty, which brings me to my first rant of this post. The too pretty to touch items. Ie, towels, soap, hmmm what else.. I think you get the point. My grandmother used to have this soap carved like little rosettes, and towels with birds on them. The issue was, we couldn't touch them!! So right next to it was a grimey soap pump and torn up towel. What's the point of having them if you can't use them, not to mention it's tacky when guests arrive. I am totally for saving the good stuff for company, but don't make it so they won't even wanna touch it!
4) stock, KEEP YOUR BATHROOM STOCKED!! This is ever important for guests as well. Make sure you've got toilet paper, soap, hand towels, and what not with room to spare. Ladies, if you've got female company you may also wish to put essentials in a non-conspicuous tin or cabinet if needed. In this same respect, keep a handy can of eau de parfume handy too. You can get some great room fragrance at Bath and Body works. This way your bathroom will stay clean, and so will your visitors!
5.) don't leave your crap out, Self explanatory for anyone saving space. At my parents, we had space and more, so make up, brushes, curlers, were all out constantly. Now that I'm here with Mr. P I don't have that space. So I generally keep all that in a bucket in my closet so I pull it out only when I need it. It also helps keep some order in there for company.
6) and don't forget the trash, I think in most bathrooms the trash can is probably the last item anyone thinks about. It's small and usually tucked behind the toilet. Don't forget about this. If you're trying to maximize your small area most bathroom decor usually has a coordinating trash can. Splurge and get it. You'll be so proud of yourself. Make sure you're emptying it as needed, and not letting anything get stuck to it. We don't want a gross trash can. You can get small can liners at the store which make this process even easier.
Ok this post is getting wayy long, but one more area to talk about in the bathroom and we're done.
7.) the actual bath part of the room, Make sure you're toilet, sink, shower and tub work and are clean. A lot of times just by cleaning up around the house and our bathrooms I feel like they are much nicer and easier to look at. In our shower we've got some shelving to make it a little less cluttered and have tried to condense bottles where we could. I inspect the shower curtain daily for rips or mildew and change it as needed.
I wish I had a better bathroom so I could take these photos for you and show you something cute, but one day!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Guest Room
While we won't be getting one for a few months it's nice to dream. Nothing would be worse than have a guest over to stay the night and have them sleep in some thrown together schleppy room. Mr.P and I once stayed the night with some friends and I just adored the way they put together this room and have since been inspired to make sure ours was nothing short of inviting. Brittany, yes you could say I'm copying you... so shoot me.
Anyways, the main arguement between Mr. P and me is that it's not to girly. So far the rest of our house has dark neutral colors, blue/brown, garnet/gold/brown, and then that mess that is our entire downstairs. I'd say anything but girly imo. My push for the room is that it's light. and bright without going crazy. I just need something to liven up the place a bit. Oh well, one step at a time. Just to catch you up I moved into a house with three males, who had no previous cleaning or decorating experience, so the majority of the past five months have been sorting through that. Mr. P recenty got his"man room" in which I made no design suggestions. At this point, its a couch, big screen tv, and a set of drawers left behind from Jason. Woo hoo!!!
I've recently taken into looking bedding at my favorites (Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshall's) while I've been out wandering to get some ideas of what I want. So while browsing the web this morning so far these ideas have popped out at me.
1.) Basic white linens, Throughout college I LOVED my white down comforter. It's only been in recent years that I've switched over to fun printed bedding. I feel like with this room a basic white bed set will be gender neutral and allow for easy coordinating with throw pillows and accessories. I think basic white would also be a good base, so that come holidays and as the seasons change I can swap these out.
2.) No beach themes, we all love the ocean, but for some reason I just can't stand beach/coastal themed rooms in homes. With one exception, bathrooms. I will also make this exception if you actually live at the beach. Just a random pet peeve. I've found that a beach themed room can be extremely difficult to do right, unless you are going for a cheap thrown together look.
3.) Marimekko, I fell in love with this brand in Finland and am excited to finally see it popping up on our side of the pond. It's fresh and mod. They have awesome prints and several colors of each to choose from. I love their classic, Unikko flower print.
4.) A desk, tray and ample seating, The bed is for sleeping. Nothing is worse than traveling and reaching your final destination and not have a place to sit down. Futhermore a private area to take care of any business you might have to handle. I hope that I can find some way to at least fit in a spare (or two) chairs and small table for something like this. Keeping up with your personal belongings in a tray set on the bed or dresser I think is also a neat idea for guests.
5.) bath linens in the room (and extras), Think about how many times you've been over at a friends house and you have no idea where the towels, washcloths or extra blankets are and you end up with a sleepless night, or wet hair. Since we don't have a legit linen closet (that's another battle) these will be stocked in the guest room itself. Points to you if you can throw in a fresh robe too! Same goes for a bottle of water, and some extra necessities for your guests to help themselves too if need be.
6.) a nice smell, I think this one is self explanitory but no one will want to come back if your house stinks!!
7.) don't store your stuff there, Nothing would be more annoying than staying a night with someone and have them constantly in and out to retrieve something in that room, or opening up the closet to hand my coat or other clothes and find no room. I understand we all may be strapped for space, but limit your storage in the guest room to only a few items.
Ok so there's some elements of a future guest room in our home. I think that has covered about every element there is of a great guest room. I would also say it would be a nice guesture if you had other important numbers on a nice card in the guest room incase your vistors might need to to reach you or take care of business while visiting.
Anyways, the main arguement between Mr. P and me is that it's not to girly. So far the rest of our house has dark neutral colors, blue/brown, garnet/gold/brown, and then that mess that is our entire downstairs. I'd say anything but girly imo. My push for the room is that it's light. and bright without going crazy. I just need something to liven up the place a bit. Oh well, one step at a time. Just to catch you up I moved into a house with three males, who had no previous cleaning or decorating experience, so the majority of the past five months have been sorting through that. Mr. P recenty got his"man room" in which I made no design suggestions. At this point, its a couch, big screen tv, and a set of drawers left behind from Jason. Woo hoo!!!
I've recently taken into looking bedding at my favorites (Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshall's) while I've been out wandering to get some ideas of what I want. So while browsing the web this morning so far these ideas have popped out at me.
1.) Basic white linens, Throughout college I LOVED my white down comforter. It's only been in recent years that I've switched over to fun printed bedding. I feel like with this room a basic white bed set will be gender neutral and allow for easy coordinating with throw pillows and accessories. I think basic white would also be a good base, so that come holidays and as the seasons change I can swap these out.
2.) No beach themes, we all love the ocean, but for some reason I just can't stand beach/coastal themed rooms in homes. With one exception, bathrooms. I will also make this exception if you actually live at the beach. Just a random pet peeve. I've found that a beach themed room can be extremely difficult to do right, unless you are going for a cheap thrown together look.
3.) Marimekko, I fell in love with this brand in Finland and am excited to finally see it popping up on our side of the pond. It's fresh and mod. They have awesome prints and several colors of each to choose from. I love their classic, Unikko flower print.
4.) A desk, tray and ample seating, The bed is for sleeping. Nothing is worse than traveling and reaching your final destination and not have a place to sit down. Futhermore a private area to take care of any business you might have to handle. I hope that I can find some way to at least fit in a spare (or two) chairs and small table for something like this. Keeping up with your personal belongings in a tray set on the bed or dresser I think is also a neat idea for guests.
5.) bath linens in the room (and extras), Think about how many times you've been over at a friends house and you have no idea where the towels, washcloths or extra blankets are and you end up with a sleepless night, or wet hair. Since we don't have a legit linen closet (that's another battle) these will be stocked in the guest room itself. Points to you if you can throw in a fresh robe too! Same goes for a bottle of water, and some extra necessities for your guests to help themselves too if need be.
6.) a nice smell, I think this one is self explanitory but no one will want to come back if your house stinks!!
7.) don't store your stuff there, Nothing would be more annoying than staying a night with someone and have them constantly in and out to retrieve something in that room, or opening up the closet to hand my coat or other clothes and find no room. I understand we all may be strapped for space, but limit your storage in the guest room to only a few items.
Ok so there's some elements of a future guest room in our home. I think that has covered about every element there is of a great guest room. I would also say it would be a nice guesture if you had other important numbers on a nice card in the guest room incase your vistors might need to to reach you or take care of business while visiting.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
It was another HOT Saturday here. So this is how we spent our day.
Mr. P slept in, in fact.. famous last words of him this morning as I was making my departure were, "sleeping in is so amazing." Hah, infact it is ain't it? He gets up at 6 every morning and is gone by 7, so sleeping in is really anything past 8. I on the other hand, rarely am up before 8 and not even functioning til at least 10 and a cup of coffee.
I joined a friend for breakfast at a new spot. It was new to us, but has been around for a good little while. I liked the atmosphere and of course the company, but I think we were both thrown by the moderately unconventional seating as well as serve yourself coffee bar... I should have brought a camera to grab a picture, but just so you get the full effect we probably looked as dumb as this paragraph sounds. However, we made it and I really enjoyed the time catching up with her. We of course looked like two sore thumbs in this joint. Notice I used the word to joint to describe it.. I was wearing my signature Jack Rogers, white linen pants, and pink Polo, and Maggie in a darling black shift. Do we sound like we belong in in any joint to you?? I didn't think so. So here's my mission for the week, find another hole in the wall yet functioning place for Saturday morning breakfasts for two.
Anyways, the afternoon is brought us more "new to us" stuff. We had our friends J&E along with their precious baby girl join us at the lake. A few weeks ago when I mentioned to J, we had a boat, and LOVED going out at sunset for a cruise and dinner she immediately lit up. So we finally got our junk together and made it work. It was hot, so mid boat cruise we ended up in the water for a good long soak. After that, we had a short ride to the marina for dinner and listened to the live band. It was miserably hot, but fun. I hope we get to this a few more times this Summer. It's really probably my favorite thing to do. As we were leaving the sun had begin to set and temps had taken a dive and we just enjoyed the short ride back. I only wish we would have planned to see the Purple Martin's coming in at Bomb Island. It's truly a beautiful site to be surrounded by thousands of birds.
That was our Saturday, we won't be returning to the lake in the morning but instead taking care of the chores around here and getting some groceries. I still have yet to pick up this couponing thing, but with some new printer cartridges I think I just might be able to make it work. Some of our neighbors blessed us with a good gallon jug of BBQ sauce, so I will probably attempt to get creative with that later on this week.
Mr. P slept in, in fact.. famous last words of him this morning as I was making my departure were, "sleeping in is so amazing." Hah, infact it is ain't it? He gets up at 6 every morning and is gone by 7, so sleeping in is really anything past 8. I on the other hand, rarely am up before 8 and not even functioning til at least 10 and a cup of coffee.
I joined a friend for breakfast at a new spot. It was new to us, but has been around for a good little while. I liked the atmosphere and of course the company, but I think we were both thrown by the moderately unconventional seating as well as serve yourself coffee bar... I should have brought a camera to grab a picture, but just so you get the full effect we probably looked as dumb as this paragraph sounds. However, we made it and I really enjoyed the time catching up with her. We of course looked like two sore thumbs in this joint. Notice I used the word to joint to describe it.. I was wearing my signature Jack Rogers, white linen pants, and pink Polo, and Maggie in a darling black shift. Do we sound like we belong in in any joint to you?? I didn't think so. So here's my mission for the week, find another hole in the wall yet functioning place for Saturday morning breakfasts for two.
Anyways, the afternoon is brought us more "new to us" stuff. We had our friends J&E along with their precious baby girl join us at the lake. A few weeks ago when I mentioned to J, we had a boat, and LOVED going out at sunset for a cruise and dinner she immediately lit up. So we finally got our junk together and made it work. It was hot, so mid boat cruise we ended up in the water for a good long soak. After that, we had a short ride to the marina for dinner and listened to the live band. It was miserably hot, but fun. I hope we get to this a few more times this Summer. It's really probably my favorite thing to do. As we were leaving the sun had begin to set and temps had taken a dive and we just enjoyed the short ride back. I only wish we would have planned to see the Purple Martin's coming in at Bomb Island. It's truly a beautiful site to be surrounded by thousands of birds.
That was our Saturday, we won't be returning to the lake in the morning but instead taking care of the chores around here and getting some groceries. I still have yet to pick up this couponing thing, but with some new printer cartridges I think I just might be able to make it work. Some of our neighbors blessed us with a good gallon jug of BBQ sauce, so I will probably attempt to get creative with that later on this week.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
the value of a friendship
It's late and the husband is snoring as usual. So here I am with a little post on friendship.
I'm blessed to have many friends, and like to think I make them easily. Currently rockin it out 488 on the ever eternal Facebook. I do periodically trim that list when I get in the mood to. The older I get the less fun "stalking" seems, mainly because what the heck does someone I haven't seen/spoken to in 10 years need to "stalk" me for? I do chuckle when I am "friended" by a friend of a friend, or random person, or someone I met for a hot two minutes last Friday night, or the best.. a friend of my mother in -laws. I have 99% of my information and profile blocked from the general public, so generally I'm thinking, you want to stalk me. I'm flattered, but if you happen to friend me.. please, make it legit and at least write on my wall!
However, in the recent week(s) I've observed a few things within other friendships and has caused me to think about my own. So here we go.
I just took a "What Kind of Friend Are You?" quiz online here. To no surprise I'm the "confidante" friend. It described me as nurturing and motherly, which is kind of how I've been dubbed at work, the store mom. I no doubt take care of the small things that keep our store running and do it gladly. I think I get this trait from my own mother and mother in-law who love to see that everyone has every tiny little thing they need. On the flip side, I'm sure people have used me for their doormat more than once, and the crazy thing is.. I probably don't even know it! Take it and see what kind of friend you are.
Anyways, my friends are scattered everywhere. With my three closest ones also being my three furthest away Ironic isn't it... I like to think so. These three friends also made here to be in my wedding in March. Take note. But also tonight I was browsing, The Friendship Blog and just reading what some people had posted. I swear they had postings for every situation, when friends become in-laws, in-laws themselves, jealous friends, crazy friends, old friends, new friends... I think you get it. If you have some time, go check it out. My sister just picked up a book from the library regarding when you break up with your best friend, which kind of lead me to this blog post. How much do we really value our friends, and how far are we willing to go for them? Or in some instances, how much crap are we willing to put up with?
So here is my uneducated, unsolicited opinion on friendships.
My dad has said so many times, a job is only worth as much as it pays you. I would dare to say a relationship (friendship included) is only worth as much as you put into it. Don't expect a friend to be an over the top generous bff if you haven't returned or initiated the favor previously. You invest more, you get a greater return. This also brings up the idea of investing more, great risk for loss. I've always played by the rule go big or go home. If you can't take chances.. what's the point? Afterall, isn't it from our setbacks that we learn the most??? I also see the lifelong friends my own father has had and genuinely think I've learned a thing or two from him and his nearly 70 years of wisdom.
When I see friendships fall apart it hurts me. If I were to lose a friend of mine, I would probably be lost. I love my friends, deeply. My friends have largely shaped my life. Now back to friendships falling apart. If in someway I was connected to either or both parties it just becomes awkward, because in Smalltown, USA here, you can't escape anyone. Let me reiterate that, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ANYONE.So for all of our sanity's..don't make it awkard for me. At some point though you really have to think deep within yourself and situation and try and decide if it's really worth whatever this tiff is all about. If you can't be 10000% brutally honest with yourself and that toxic friend, I can almost guarantee it won't be worth it. If you're not strong enough to be the bigger person, then you probably suck as a friend. Hate to be mean, but just my opinion. The truth can sometimes hurt folks! I moderately frankly don't care how many times they've done/said... yabba dabba do. If it is happening multiple times then you should know that, that that particular behavior is that person's nature and it probably isn't going to change any time soon. So you either learn to love them for it, deal with it.
I'm also not out to make friends ( I know, terribly bitchy of me), but there's a reason I didn't go to a huge school and pay thousands of dollars to wear three Greek letters and call 100 girls my sister. If we meet, and we happen to have some things in common and above all you treat with me respect. You've won my friendship. In fact, I think I can go ahead and safely say, if you disrespect me or anything within my small social network of friends, you probably really won't like me. I'm okay with that. Honestly. I also at this stage in my life come with a built-in bff, my adoring hubs. Who seriously deserves an award for all the stuff he puts up with, but if you can't take us a package deal folks, you aren't getting me. The same goes for my now siblings, because I don't really want to hear about how/why they stepped on your toes. Tell it them, they're adults.. they can handle it.
I guess what I'm saying is.. if you find yourself complaining about your friends or someone elses take some time and reflect on what you're putting into the situation. If you give good you get get good, if you give bad, you might not like what you get. But hey, that's your own fault. Being stubborn is not an excuse to be a bad friend.
With all of my friends (the besties, biffles, bffs and just plain acquaintance) I've learned new things about the world and myself. I value each of those things very much, but when it boils down to it.. I live by one basic so called "Golden Rule". Treat others as you would want to be treated, if you can't handle that concept then I'm not sure we can be friends.
I think that's it for now. Snaps to me for a post with some substance!! Have a lovely weekend everyone and I will back here hopefully not to far from now with something worth reading about.
I'm blessed to have many friends, and like to think I make them easily. Currently rockin it out 488 on the ever eternal Facebook. I do periodically trim that list when I get in the mood to. The older I get the less fun "stalking" seems, mainly because what the heck does someone I haven't seen/spoken to in 10 years need to "stalk" me for? I do chuckle when I am "friended" by a friend of a friend, or random person, or someone I met for a hot two minutes last Friday night, or the best.. a friend of my mother in -laws. I have 99% of my information and profile blocked from the general public, so generally I'm thinking, you want to stalk me. I'm flattered, but if you happen to friend me.. please, make it legit and at least write on my wall!
However, in the recent week(s) I've observed a few things within other friendships and has caused me to think about my own. So here we go.
I just took a "What Kind of Friend Are You?" quiz online here. To no surprise I'm the "confidante" friend. It described me as nurturing and motherly, which is kind of how I've been dubbed at work, the store mom. I no doubt take care of the small things that keep our store running and do it gladly. I think I get this trait from my own mother and mother in-law who love to see that everyone has every tiny little thing they need. On the flip side, I'm sure people have used me for their doormat more than once, and the crazy thing is.. I probably don't even know it! Take it and see what kind of friend you are.
Anyways, my friends are scattered everywhere. With my three closest ones also being my three furthest away Ironic isn't it... I like to think so. These three friends also made here to be in my wedding in March. Take note. But also tonight I was browsing, The Friendship Blog and just reading what some people had posted. I swear they had postings for every situation, when friends become in-laws, in-laws themselves, jealous friends, crazy friends, old friends, new friends... I think you get it. If you have some time, go check it out. My sister just picked up a book from the library regarding when you break up with your best friend, which kind of lead me to this blog post. How much do we really value our friends, and how far are we willing to go for them? Or in some instances, how much crap are we willing to put up with?
So here is my uneducated, unsolicited opinion on friendships.
My dad has said so many times, a job is only worth as much as it pays you. I would dare to say a relationship (friendship included) is only worth as much as you put into it. Don't expect a friend to be an over the top generous bff if you haven't returned or initiated the favor previously. You invest more, you get a greater return. This also brings up the idea of investing more, great risk for loss. I've always played by the rule go big or go home. If you can't take chances.. what's the point? Afterall, isn't it from our setbacks that we learn the most??? I also see the lifelong friends my own father has had and genuinely think I've learned a thing or two from him and his nearly 70 years of wisdom.
When I see friendships fall apart it hurts me. If I were to lose a friend of mine, I would probably be lost. I love my friends, deeply. My friends have largely shaped my life. Now back to friendships falling apart. If in someway I was connected to either or both parties it just becomes awkward, because in Smalltown, USA here, you can't escape anyone. Let me reiterate that, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ANYONE.So for all of our sanity's..don't make it awkard for me. At some point though you really have to think deep within yourself and situation and try and decide if it's really worth whatever this tiff is all about. If you can't be 10000% brutally honest with yourself and that toxic friend, I can almost guarantee it won't be worth it. If you're not strong enough to be the bigger person, then you probably suck as a friend. Hate to be mean, but just my opinion. The truth can sometimes hurt folks! I moderately frankly don't care how many times they've done/said... yabba dabba do. If it is happening multiple times then you should know that, that that particular behavior is that person's nature and it probably isn't going to change any time soon. So you either learn to love them for it, deal with it.
I'm also not out to make friends ( I know, terribly bitchy of me), but there's a reason I didn't go to a huge school and pay thousands of dollars to wear three Greek letters and call 100 girls my sister. If we meet, and we happen to have some things in common and above all you treat with me respect. You've won my friendship. In fact, I think I can go ahead and safely say, if you disrespect me or anything within my small social network of friends, you probably really won't like me. I'm okay with that. Honestly. I also at this stage in my life come with a built-in bff, my adoring hubs. Who seriously deserves an award for all the stuff he puts up with, but if you can't take us a package deal folks, you aren't getting me. The same goes for my now siblings, because I don't really want to hear about how/why they stepped on your toes. Tell it them, they're adults.. they can handle it.
I guess what I'm saying is.. if you find yourself complaining about your friends or someone elses take some time and reflect on what you're putting into the situation. If you give good you get get good, if you give bad, you might not like what you get. But hey, that's your own fault. Being stubborn is not an excuse to be a bad friend.
With all of my friends (the besties, biffles, bffs and just plain acquaintance) I've learned new things about the world and myself. I value each of those things very much, but when it boils down to it.. I live by one basic so called "Golden Rule". Treat others as you would want to be treated, if you can't handle that concept then I'm not sure we can be friends.
I think that's it for now. Snaps to me for a post with some substance!! Have a lovely weekend everyone and I will back here hopefully not to far from now with something worth reading about.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
national lasanga day and a sad goodbye
Two things for today..
It was National Lasagna Day!!
In honor of it, Casey, Jeani Rae and Christine came over for dinner and we had .. you guessed it.. lasagna. Last year I made a lovely veggie one that Casey and I shared. We grabbed our recipie this year from Paula Deen. See it here, Lots O'Meat Lasanga. We had so much fun making it, and have enough leftovers for the next ten years. The recipie as you will see says, serves 4, so we doubled it planning for six people total (thinking it would serve 8) and ended up with two big pans. I'm already looking forward to next year.
.. you also got FREE tea at McAlister's Deli. I took advantage of that while I was at the mall today:)
We also said goodbye to our French exchange students tonight. Tomorrow they head to Atlanta and then back home on Saturday. We've had a fabulous 3 weeks with them here and I am truly sad to see them go. I've had not one, but two seestors this month and that has been such a treat.
It's another quiet weekend around here. Insanely hot as usual. So I'm not to sure about the lake and what not. I just want to stay cool.
It was National Lasagna Day!!
In honor of it, Casey, Jeani Rae and Christine came over for dinner and we had .. you guessed it.. lasagna. Last year I made a lovely veggie one that Casey and I shared. We grabbed our recipie this year from Paula Deen. See it here, Lots O'Meat Lasanga. We had so much fun making it, and have enough leftovers for the next ten years. The recipie as you will see says, serves 4, so we doubled it planning for six people total (thinking it would serve 8) and ended up with two big pans. I'm already looking forward to next year.
.. you also got FREE tea at McAlister's Deli. I took advantage of that while I was at the mall today:)
We also said goodbye to our French exchange students tonight. Tomorrow they head to Atlanta and then back home on Saturday. We've had a fabulous 3 weeks with them here and I am truly sad to see them go. I've had not one, but two seestors this month and that has been such a treat.
It's another quiet weekend around here. Insanely hot as usual. So I'm not to sure about the lake and what not. I just want to stay cool.
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